Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
