Got a toothbrush?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
