She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
