I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
