hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
