everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
