I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
