Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
