youre lurking in front of me
You work out of a Hotel?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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