its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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