are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
