I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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