Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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