Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
