What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
