i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize