How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize