I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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