I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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