let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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