We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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