Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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