just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
