dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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