Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
