so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You ruined the universe
Randomize
