Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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