I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
