Well apparently he's into motor boating.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
