Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
