Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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