Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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