I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
