I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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