When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
