i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
