Rock
Scissors
Fuck
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
