I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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