Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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