she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
