this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
