dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
