I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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