i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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