someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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