who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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