They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
