is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
