I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
