what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
