Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
did you just send me my own nude
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
