You smell like a Billy Joel song
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
