i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
