Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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