What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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