Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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