Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
