Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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