There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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